Exam results: It was a very special day!

The day I have been waiting for. The day that will determine the rest of my life. The day that will decide my future. Make or break, writes Hana Samawe. I did not sleep a wink last night, due to the various emotions I was feeling and still remain with me

The day I have been waiting for. The day that will determine the rest of my life. The day that will decide my future. Make or break, writes Hana Samawe.

I did not sleep a wink last night, due to the various emotions I was feeling and still remain with me at this moment.

I was extremely apprehensive and nervous about my results.

My confidence had been concealed under my pessimistic persona.

A persona I was unfamiliar with as I was renowned for my buoyancy. I would start the exam in a positive note and finish with my head held high.

However, as this important day approached me hastily, I experienced a turmoil of emotions.

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I conceptualised my reaction if I had failed my GCSEs. I would be speechless, lost for words. I would constantly be pinching myself, in order to awake from this terrible dream only to be faced by the harsh reality.

I imagined my parents' expressions when I would have to break the shattering news.

The sheer disappointment cemented on their faces. 'Your targets were A*! How on earth did you get D?' my mother would shriek.

I then envisioned myself waving my exceedingly high grades with utter pride, just like a newly elected president waving his nations' flag with a sense of fulfilment and felicity. Finally, I achieved my targets.

I have created a whole world of opportunities. A gulf of careers. The world would be my oyster. My parents would be so proud. 'My shining star!' they would gloat.

I can visualise them screaming my grades off the rooftops for the whole neighbourhood to acknowledge my achievement.

As I hop off the bus, I see many frantic faces desperately trying to disguise their emotions with nerves and agitation, leading me to rip off the skin and whatever is left of my nails. Every step I took I could feel the volcano of butterflies erupting in my stomach. Perspiration of cold sweat appeared on my forehead due to the discomfort I was experiencing.

The closer I was on receiving my letter with results, the more my legs struggled to hold me up almost as if they were jelly.

At one point I stumbled over, losing all sense of balance in my legs.

As I neared to the results room, I could see people's reaction with their results. There were tears, laughter, and the occasional screech.

As I pass through the threshold of the results room a wave of reluctance urges me to run out the room yet a sense of curiosity overshadows this emotion allowing me to collect my letter.

I slit my finger under the envelope fold as my heart pleads out to God. Unfolding the paper now. This is it!

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