Beat around the Bush

I’m always anxious before any game. But today at home to Hull, a win will do it, promoted as champions, and I’m a bag of nerves.

I’ve been calm and positive for weeks but now this dragging on is getting even to me.

The Overground driver announces Shepherd’s Bush as the home of Queens Park Rangers Football Club who, if they win today, return to the Premier League after 15 years. But some of us have to work today. Come on UR’s!

I am not sure whether that eased my nerves or exacerbated them.

Free stress testing outside Westfield didn’t help. I know the result anyway, but what about this afternoon’s result?

Westfield’s unusually quiet, but Shepherd’s Bush High Street is awash with blue and white hooped shirts being sunned in the unusually hot April Bank Holiday weather to calm jangled nerves.

There’s only one thing for it, a Cumberland sausage and brown sauce sandwich, chips and a large glass of Cabernet Sauvignon – to be followed by a second, as a precursor to a pint of lager at LR. (It’s best to feel mellow to watch Rangers.)

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‘Cause my nerves aren’t soothed by having to write this article. It turns on the result. Fortunately, the submission deadline has been extended to tomorrow morning. Unfortunately, I’m off on holiday at 5:30 a.m., so it helps little. Will I be able to scribble, type, plan, fret or celebrate and pack?

Oh good grief. A draw. The arithmetic is now, for Rangers to miss out on promotion, they would have to lose both their remaining games, while Cardiff and Norwich must both win their last two. Even winning two, Cardiff can only equal Rangers’ tally of 85 points.

However, as our goal difference is 13 superior to theirs, even if they won both games by a margin of three, and QPR lost each by a margin of three, it still wouldn’t be enough. That suggests we’re up, I suppose.

Who says nothing is won in August/September? Without those results, on current form, we would be nowhere near.

Ok, the first half against Hull was like Rangers at the beginning of the season – wherever the ball went there was a hooped shirt. One ahead within 10 minutes it was one-way traffic. How many would we win by? After half-time, nothing.

No, I’m not particularly happy. It should have been wrapped up well before now – it could have been by half-time. The points tally from each of the last two sequences of four consecutive games, at five and six respectively, are about the lowest for the season.

And there is still the FAFL issue. It’s lucky there’s still something to be anxious about.