Beat around the Bush

THE 2010/11 Beat Around the Bush end of season awards took place on the moon. David Beckham hosted, every audience member received free season tickets at Loftus Road until 2020 and Neil Warnock even sung us a song.

If you were unfortunate enough to miss out on the small do, don’t despair. Here we’ll take you through the worthy winners of each award for a season which has seen QPR draw ever closer to the Premier League.

The Lionel Messi Player of the Year Award:

Already compared to the likes of QPR greats such as Stan Bowles, Adel Taarabt was so far ahead of everyone else in winning this award he didn’t have any time to nutmeg anybody on the way. The mercurial Moroccan has lit up Loftus Road with his electric skills, Xavi-like vision and spectacular goals. Take a bow son, and please stay next year.

The Eric Sabin Worst Player of the Year Award:

So the gamble of Leon Clarke didn’t pay off and our super striker Rob Hulse hasn’t had the best of seasons, but no one was bad enough to receive this award in a season where the squad has united together to lead us to the top of the league. Luckily Steve Claridge was in attendance and he happily picked up this award for being a pompous know-it-all – who really doesn’t know anything.

The Birmingham City League Cup Winners ‘I Wasn’t Expecting That’ Award:

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With more grey hairs than the whole QPR squad put together, Shaun Derry epitomises the fighting spirit that has embodied QPR’s season. No-one thought Derry would be the key cog in such a well-oiled machine. The new Claude Makelele.

The David Beckham Halfway Line ‘Goal of the Season Award’:

Jamie Mackie’s calm finish in the 93rd minute at Derby and Alejandro Faurlin’s recent screamer versus Sheffield United were contenders, but everyone was on their feet when Taarabt played a cheeky one-two with Kyle Walker before nutmegging an oncoming Swansea defender and curling the ball past a helpless goalkeeper. Take a bow son, and please stay next year.

The Paul Hart ‘Lifetime

Achievement Award’:

Well, it seems like he’s been here a lifetime compared to previous seasons, and nobody deserves an award more than our very own hero Neil Warnock. The northern turned-southern gaffer has worked wonders down at Loftus Road and nothing would please QPR fans more than seeing the boss in his infamous shorts celebrating promotion on May 7.

The blue and white hoops are starting to emerge from the depths of the lower leagues and let’s hope next year’s awards will be celebrated by a squad that have achieved a great amount in England’s top division.